Shortly after graduating college, I worked at a large retail department store in the heart of New York City. Being about 21 years old, having to manage and supervise people older than me, being responsible for millions of dollars of business was all very intimidating!  I was leading a department of about 22 associates and I really needed to learn at that point how to develop relationships, how to be more nurturing, and how to better connect with people , if I were to have them deliver the results I was looking for.

I tell this story often – most recently to author, business coach and podcaster, Kelley Rowland on her podcast, Brazen and Brave. Listen here.

Now, I coach middle managers to learn from my experience to motivate and engage their teams to enable positive change and sustain business results.

1. Check your assumptions and make a personal shift. 

 My observations of leadership were predominantly male – my experience was that tough leadership was effective leadership. I saw that approach get business results for senior leaders in my organization, and assumed that imitating the style would guarantee my success – boy was I wrong! I played by the rules I imagined, got modest business results and less positive people results. I realized that rigid and apathetic did not work, and chose instead to be open and curious about my colleagues and direct reports. I chose to take personal interest in them and to be intentional in building trusting relationships.

Once I was able to make the shift, I felt more like myself. I felt connected to my management team and associates in a way that I didn’t before. The shift happened at the right time: as I moved from being more dominant to being more compassionate, considerate, generally emotionally intelligent. I connected on a human level, being more intentional about managing personal relationships and leveraging trust and respect,  to get business results.

2. Scan the environment and fill the gaps.

At that time, ecommerce sales  began to eclipse brick-and-mortar store sales – in response stores’ leaders began strategically relying on associates to develop connections with customers that inspire their loyalty. This strategy required associates to shift their mindsets from service to high-touch selling. Associates were expected to step out and approach customers, make a genuine connection, to have enhanced product knowledge and persuasive communication skills. Quite frankly, a lot of associates felt that these new expectations were unreasonable and not at  all what they signed up for! It was my task as a manager and frontline supervisor to lead that change.